Wrestling With God

“Wrestling with God”

Sermon for MCC New Haven

August 3, 2014

Rev. Brian Hutchison, M.Div.

Genesis 32:22-31

Matthew 14:13-21

         They wrestled through the night, their bodies clinging close. Two men, divided only by sweat and tears. Neither would let go. They meant too much to each other. Perhaps they feared losing each other. And so they clung until the sun rose. One of them was even injured in the roughness of the wrestling. But he still did not let go. The sun rose and for the first time they saw each other in the light of day. The injured one told the other that he would not let him go unless he told him he was a good man. And so he did, and they parted ways.

         This homoerotic story is from the book of Genesis. Jacob is making his way with his family to a new life over the Jabbok river- a river that means “pouring out” in Hebrew. Jacob is distressed about his life, about the upcoming reunion with his brother Esau whom he had seriously wronged in the past. He doubted what he was doing with his life. So he finds himself wrestling with God in the middle of the night. The scripture does not tell us until the end of the story that it was God he was wrestling. The text tells us that it was a man and then somehow God, and Jewish tradition tells us it was an angel. But regardless of whatever it was, Jacob had some inner wrestling to do.

         Jacob had stolen his brother Esau’s birthright from their father. He knew it was not his to have. So he had to get a blessing of his own. He would not let go of the Divine until he got his blessing. The definition of “blessing” is to call something “good.” Jacob needed affirmation from God that he was indeed a good person. In the wrestling, Jacob is injured at the hip. Legend says he walked with a limp for the rest of his life. Jewish tradition said that no one could see the face of God and live. But the sun came up and Jacob saw the Peniel- the face of God. So he called that place Peniel.

         We have all had our own wrestles with God. We ask God why bad things happen in the world. We ask God why bad things happen to us when we have not done much wrong. We ask God what the meaning of this life is. And most times, God leads us to live in the questions rather than giving easy answers. That is what our faith is about- living the questions.

         When Jacob wrestled with God, God changed his name to Israel. Jacob means “heel-holder” because he held his twin brother’s heel as they were born. The name Jacob signified who he used to be- someone defined by others, a follower, not a leader. His new name, Israel, means, “God struggled.” This name would be a reminder for him and for the nation of Jewish people named after him that God struggled to show Israel and his people their infinite worth and goodness.

Transgender people often go through a process of changing their names. The old name represents a person that was not fully integrated, someone defined by others by a sex assigned at birth. The new name represents claiming a new life of authenticity. Trans folks of faith often wrestle with God, asking, “Why was I born with this body?” On the other side of the struggle, we in MCC affirm trans people as blessed children of God. We have a beautiful tradition of baptizing them with their new names even if they have been baptized before with a former name. Struggling with God is in MCC’s DNA, but we are a stubborn people and we will not let go without a blessing!

         I think I can safely assume that all of us here have literally wrestled through the night with another person. In our lovemaking, we leave our hearts open and vulnerable. We cling to each other to show our love, or at least to show another affection and make an intimate connection. And when the sun rises, we look over to our bedmate and see the imago dei- the image of God. We may choose to see just another human face, but the reality is that the face of God has bed head and sleep dirt and morning breath. Our consensual lovemaking is not dirty, perverted, sick, or sinful. Rather, it is a holy encounter. In accepting each other’s bodies, we bless them; we call them “good.” We see the face of God… and live.

         The scriptures do not tell us if Jesus ever had sex, but they do tell us that Jesus wrestled with God too. At the beginning of the reading from the Gospel of Matthew today, we immediately hear that Jesus withdraws when he hears that John the Baptist had been beheaded. Jesus had likely grown up with and studied with John in the desert before his public ministry. John was the one who baptized Jesus. John “prepared the way” for Jesus to be Deliverance for the people. And now he was gone, suddenly, just like that.

         Jesus must have been distraught. He may have asked God, “Why did you let my friend get executed?” So instead of reacting violently, he isolated himself. He needed some alone time. But as soon as people heard where Jesus was, they went to him. Instead of sending them away, Jesus redirects his energy with compassion by healing the sick.

         Then evening came and it was dinnertime. By then, thousands are said to have gathered. But not everyone thought to bring dinner. So Jesus demonstrates the power of choosing family by dividing and sharing bread and fish with everyone. It was a miracle because everyone was fed and there were even leftovers. But remember, miracles are not magic; they are changes in perception from fear to love. So the Jews and Gentiles who were afraid to eat with each other were given permission to make one big banquet. When everyone shared what they had in a great lakeside potluck supper, everyone was full. The loving act of sharing and eating together was the true miracle. This event was a snapshot of the Commonwealth of God, a new way of relating to the stranger.

         The Jews present had to wrestle with their understanding of God. They had been taught that Jews were God’s only chosen people and that they should not associate with non-Jews. But Jesus demonstrated that God’s blessing is open to all, that all are truly “good.” In the words of the 23^rd Psalm, “You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies.” But instead of preparing the banquet of bread and fish for just the Jews, he also prepared it for those who were supposed to be enemies. It is that act of transcending boundaries that is at the heart of the Gospel.

The Good News is that we all wrestle with God, and if we hold on long enough, we will be blessed. Jacob would not stop wrestling with God until he knew his inherent goodness. The crowds needed the same affirmation from Jesus. They needed physical food, but they also longed for spiritual food. We too must not let go until we know deep within our hearts and minds that we are blessed. When we wrestle with God, we don’t disrespect God; rather we honor God. So go ahead and wrestle through the darkness. The sun will always rise in the morning. Amen.